Stuff White People Like

Saw this guy on CNN. It is pretty funny...and I relate to some...dang! It started with a blog and is now a book... check out the website on my blog list or click on picture of book cover!

Government for Dummies

Today in elementary education we were learning how to teach with analogies. We talked about fables, which are a type of analogies. Also, there was a paper with the following on it...it may be from Jordan School District or Dr. Ramirez but it's not from just me so there is my attempt at non-copywrite badness and giving credit where due. This sure breaks it down for me and it's stinkin' hilarious!

Anarchy- You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your eighbors try to kill you and take the cows.

Communism- You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you share the milk.

Socialism- You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cowss. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

Democracy- You have two cows, your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

Republic- You have two cows your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

Monarchy- You have two cows. You have to give one of them to the King and pay him lots of money to eat it.

Dictatorship/Facism- You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

Theocracy- You have two cows. God tells you what you can do with them.

Mascot Change

So, I'm going to a new school. I've been a BYU Cougar for a long time and I am now a UVU Wolverine. I was looking at the statue in front of UVU and thought, ya know that's not an attractive animal. The wolverine is all slouchy compared to the cougar. Cougars are regal and elegant and beautiful. I expressed this concern to HRH. She pointed out that I like X Men. Now there's a mascot I can support! Go team go!

The Black Apple: A Tribute

Smiths Girl Print from the The Black Apple (Etsy)... Just looking at my favorite Etsy shops and found this cool print. Love the phrase on the T-shirt...looked up the song that inspired it and...not so much. In honor of my half birthday, I'd just like to point out that, when my birthday does come, I would not mind any of these beautiful prints just showing up in my mail box or at my party with a pretty bow on it. Some I like better than others and I've included them here (Smiths Girl Print is not my favorite, I just like the message). This artist is like vintage meets emo and I love it... some go with my oldies theme in my kitchen and with some of my holiday decorations...I'm just sayin' is all...






Okay so actually really any of them on her store...amazig...I was trying to copy my favorites and it was getting ridiculous...check it out...you'll love it too!

Masquerade

"Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers." ~From Shrek. Layers huh...humans have them too...but I'm mixing metaphors...I got on to write a blog about masks. Forget the first line. So I recognize that sometimes I hide behind a mask. I'm what they call a very "open" person. But am I? I'm not sure...perhaps I show what I want to show. I was just thinking as I left a social situation tonight that I play light and fluffy. I'm not sure what subconscious mumbo jumbo goes on there (guarding or not wanting to get hurt I don't think apply here) but I wonder if no one really gets a good glimpse of me. I mean that is a part of who I am; out going and fun and light. But there is more for sure...but how much of that do you show? But you've gotta show some so that people can get beyond the show. But what of the "real" do you show...I can't do broody, which I think is more intriguing...hmmm. I know I've played the silly card to keep a distance between me and people I felt were getting closer than I wanted them, not in a "I need to keep myself safe, keep your distance way" but in a "No, we're not going down that road because I'm not interested way." I just wonder if I inadvertantly do the same thing to people I actually do want to get close to. Hmm...a vibe is such a delicate thing. I have no solution and I'm not really thinking to hard about this...it was just a random thought. I'm just sayin' is all.....

What I've Learned Since High School

I was thinking about my life and, in keeping with my deal with myself not to focus on what I'm not or haven't, I thought about how much I've changed since high school...it's a lot. Here are some things that have changed about me and some things I've learned. I have been away from home for 8 years so I'll give eight non-inclusive or importance ordered things.


1. The top sides of my arms are the same color as the bottoms of them and I am not naturally white only within my swimsuit line. Turns out that blinding color I only saw on my forearm is my true coloring...curse indoor pools and real winters.


2. I'm pretty awesome. For some reason I didn't know that in high school and some of my peers didn't either and that mattered. Now I know it, most of my peers do to and that doesn't matter.

3. Age is kind of relative. People graduating from high school when I was starting junior high are now my peers. Some of us are mature and some are not. Some of the younger ones are already old in the way they're deciding to let life effect them and some of the older ones get better every year.

4. . If text books, computers, cell phones, and calculators are the only things you stare long and hard at, you'll miss everything that was really important. Human eyes and cloudy skies are really worth staring into. I regret some of my grades, but never as much as an opportunity to get to know and love someone that has passed.

5. Some risks are worth taking, some are not. Sky dive, learn something new, and give your heart to someone who may give it back. But in other areas, there is a fine line between courageous and stupid, and between enlightened and overexposed. Some things are dangerous and not worth trying. Good people deal with their consequences for many years more than they were worth.

6. Both ameliorative and pejorative change is possible...change for the better only takes longer. A lot of people give up on themselves way too soon (because ever is too soon, not to mention 25).


7. Parents are important people. Some send their children out into the world with baggage, some send theirs out armed with what they'll need to conquer it. And after all, even if we don't know what the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow is, we can assume it is faster than that of a laden swallow (see Monty Python and The Holy Grail). But often, the added baggage has only made that child stronger in which case, go little swallow!

8. Grown ups and children need love so badly it hurts and because it hurts, and because of defense mechanisms we're all annoying or mean or quirky if we're afraid we aren't or can't be loved.

And one more: My faith is different today than it was in a cozy, secure home with few disturbances. Tried and tested it comes out stronger than ever.

God Bless America vs. God helps those who help themselves

We live in a pretty great country. The first amendment alone is something worth getting behind. But speaking of "behind"... we've got big ones. Behinds, rumps, butts...they're big. I'll admit to never having been out of country except for Canada, but I look around and I see the statistics walking around the malls and getting the LoveIt at Cold Stone (hey, I get it too). I have also asked friends who have been to European countries and they say they didn't see as many over weight people during they're trips and I'm sure it's not just Europe. Maybe everywhere is doing better in the petite department than we are. I have purchased a book (see picture to right) and found it hilarious and more true than I would like. The author's first experience in America was during a summer study abroad (she's from France) from which she returned 20 pounds heavier. The perspective she gives on our life styles is just hilarious (you should really check it out). One of the things she points out is that Americans eat like they still work in the fields 8 hours a day but instead sit in office jobs all day. She also talks about our exercise craze. She still lives in France and sometimes on our East Coast which gives her the benefits of a more easily walkable community than the wide open spaces of the West, but she pointed out random things like how she's seen Americans in France take the elevator to the gym on the top floor of a hotel. Why not take the steps instead of doing the StairMaster? Her whole philosophy is wonderful and for me, one who had done enough gym time by age 20 to last her a lifetime, I love the idea of using the natural ways of working out that come in an everyday life. She includes simple things like doing one's own laundry and ironing instead of sending it out as a way of keeping in shape. I was at Barnes and Noble today, applying for a job (yeah being a student again) and picked up a book (to the left) and found it highly entertaining and again, too true. I can't give all of the stats in it from memory but it's whole point is that the way food is offered to us has changed. There was a series of pages that showed the plate size at a restaurant increasing with a 9 inch plate being placed before Americans in the 1950's to the now 12 inch plate piled high. This book had horrible/hilarious statistics having to do with the number of Americans who can fit comfortably in an airplane seat to the average coffin size and it's dramatic change. Apparently the average female dress size has changed from an 8 to a 12 in the past 50 years as well. I'll admit to being somewhere between those two sizes myself. It also made a good point about medium not actually being a stable thing because what was medium then is now large and what is small was medium and small then is now child size (something like that)...haha! Another good plug for not comparing yourself to others because I'm tiny compared to the fattest man on earth (who is actually surprisingly from Mexico) but for me and my body, I could be a bit healthier. Both books were very uplifting and made it seem easy to be healthy. It's not about starving or crazy workout trends but about unlearning bad habits that have been adapted as the norm in our culture. No big deal right? Ha! It just takes some thinking to not take every sample offered at Costco or every free doughnut that comes with your dozen at Krispy Kreme or go to ice cream or some variation for every night out with the girls. When your body is full let it be full and when a couple extra steps are possible instead of taking the elevator or the first parking spot, take them! A great thing to think about in the new year! Change is possible...one fatty American at a time! Move over Europe, we're wearing man bags and man-pris and taking your great actors and getting fit! Whoot whoot! You got nothing (except great art, great architecture, and "new" things as old as our entire country...ah well!).