Sunday, February 20, 2011
The greatest thing, you'll ever learn...
Yesterday I had a nice day. I spent most of the time with my best friend Megan. I started this particular day of days with (gentle overture) cleaning my bathroom and the kitchen (Fun huh? You're jealous...a lot jealous...). Then we got dressed up in adorable gear and went on a walk in the rain. It was lovely outside. When we got home we were sufficiently hungry and so (crescendo) while she read to me from Harry Potter (build, build), I set to work making us lunch and ended up producing a fairly mediocre version of a Pad Thai recipe I'd never tried before (climax!). Then, Megan had to go into work and I wanted to go look around Borders (decrescendo) and so she dropped me off and I hung ten until she was ready to go and we were headed to groceries afterward.
Epiphany: Megan and I spent the whole day together because it just happened to work out that way. And, we did just regular stuff. And it was great! Some/most Saturdays we don't get that chance and we just do our own thing. I wonder what it would be like to spend that kind of day with a man because it was assumed that we spend time together when we can and I could kiss his face too! Even more fun!
Assessment of mankind:
1) While at Borders I had a random and wonderful conversation with a complete stranger as I drank hot chocolate and read while he worked on some writing. He was, I assume (by the ring), married and we were definitely different "types" of human being and so we were able to carry on a purely "interested in other human being and their thoughts with no ulterior motive or pretension because I will never see her/him again" moment and it felt wonderful! We talked about a documentary movie he had helped with and the obesity problem in the United States. We inquired and showed interest in the other and left with not even a name to identify each other with and I felt completely connected to the human race and so alive I was just floating. So cool. People like other people.
2) A conversation with a male friend a week or two ago: Said friend likes to read stories of men who were changed by the women who love them. He likes to hear stories from church leaders of how a wife has made a great man the man he is. He relishes in that kind of love story, as well he should. We all should want that. My worry, as dictated to him, consists of the fear that we all expect that kind of love to, have us at "hello." I expressed to him my concern that he does this in his own relationships. That love that can be told of and relished in is a love that grows over years of time together and a lot of regular, not lightening bolt days. Do we get that? Are we okay with that?
My advertisement for love:
Pretty regular girl seeks pretty regular boy.
Plan on my hips getting bigger.
I'll plan on you losing hair.
Plan on days of errands and dishes.
Plan for days of sickness and bath robes.
And plan on this too;
Plan on having more love than you know what to do with unleashed on you from a fire hydrant of wonderfulness. I've have been waiting for you to come along and allow me to be what I could be for someone. But plan on this...
Someday you will wake up and I will be gone. You will look back on our lives together and think, "No woman ever loved a man as I was loved by Kathryn." And, you will, naturally, be quite wrong. What a selfish thing to believe. How would that be fair to the rest of the world? Women have loved men and men have loved women for many years now. Why would we get to be that special? You will be right in this: No woman ever loved YOU as I loved you. That will be the only difference and the difference that makes all the difference in the world. I was important and you could give a talk in church or write poetry, if you feel so inclined, about how I changed your life simply because I was the one that shared it.
Mundane is typically thought of and defined as ordinary or common. Another definition for it though is earthly. is I think of the day I spent doing the "mundane" tasks of life with my roommate. As she went off to bed that night and I hung on the couch reading a book we said goodnight and she said, "That was a really nice day." It really was. I was not in my most entertaining mood. Truth is I'm really stressed with work these days and it has kind of consumed my energy. I was just kind of regular that day. I didn't feel like I needed to entertain her and I didn't try hard to show more enthusiasm than I am currently feeling in life. But it was good. That simple, tired, laid back version of myself was enough for her. I am enough. Isn't that all we need? Spending time with her validated my existence. My shared experience with that artsy human being in saddle shoes and horned rimmed glasses at Borders was validating as well. If mundane means earthly then yes, I want to spend time with people in the mundane of life. What I want is that one person in life who commits to spend Saturdays in the mundane tasks with me and to sharing human experience with me for the rest of my life. I need that. That's all.
Lyric from Moulin Rouge: "The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return."